Dear Laura,
A couple years ago, I met a girl. At first, I thought she was just a nice person.
I had long ago accepted that I’d never meet anyone like you ever again.
For some reason, though, she was curious about me and I know I’m notoriously tight-lipped about myself, but she pried me open, much more forcefully than you had but still, she had taken the time and effort to do so. We ended up spending an awful lot of time together. Hours and hours and eventually, we got in touch with or saw each other every day for a solid month. So, I just thought she was an awesome person. I really fell for her.
Then she moved away.
She hadn’t wanted to, and we sometimes communicated through e-mail or IM and all that time, I really wanted to be with her. I realized she didn’t hold a candle up to you but at the same time, I knew comparing girls to you was pointless and useless. You would want me to be happy and I thought this was my shot at it. So, I bit the bullet and decided to go after her because I thought she cared about me the same way I cared for her.
Well.
It turns out I was wrong. I think she hates me. Perhaps she always had.
Do you know what it’s like to love someone who hates you?
It’s something that’s weighed me down for years now, Laura. I don’t have anyone I can talk with about this. No one just listens and comforts me the way you would.
That’s why I’ve been writing to you, Dear Heart. It’s just too painful for me to deal with this all alone. I guess I felt that in some small way, it would be like you were there for me again.
I know, it’s a silly idea.
I don’t know if it’s helped, but I’ll continue.
Thank you.
Eternally,
Petrarch
